Random joke from this category
A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says:
- Mommy, why does the girl wear white?
His mom replies:
- The bride is in white because she's happy and this is the happiest day of her life.
The boys thinks about this, and then says:
- Well then, why is the boy wearing black...
A woman was getting married. She entered the church wearing a black wedding gown that surprised everyone.
The pastor was a bit annoyed and asked her:
- Why are you dressed up in black?
The woman replied:
- Well, that's because I'm not a virgin.
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
- But, officer, I can explain - the man began.
- Just be quiet - snapped the officer.
- I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.
- But, officer, I just wanted to say...
- And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said:
- Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back.
- Don't count on it - answered the fellow in the cell.
- I'm the groom!
A young couple met with their pastor to set a date for their wedding. When he asked whether they preferred a contemporary or a traditional service, they opted for the contemporary.
On the big day, a major storm forced the groom to take an alternate route to the church. The streets were flooded, so he rolled up his pants legs to keep his trousers dry.
When he finally reached the church, his best man rushed him into the sanctuary and up to the altar, just as the ceremony was starting.
- Pull down your pants - whispered the pastor.
- Uh, Reverend, I've changed my mind - the groom responded.
- I think I want the traditional service.
If it's true that girls are inclined to marry men like their fathers, it is understandable why so many mothers cry so much at weddings!
An unmarried girl who worked in a busy office arrived one morning and began passing out big cigars and candy, both tied with blue ribbons. When asked what the occasion was, she proudly displayed a new diamond solitaire ring on her third finger, left hand, and announced:
- It's a boy, six feet tall and 190 pounds!
The night before her wedding, the bride-to-be talked with her mother:
- Mom, I want you to teach me how to make my new husband happy. - she said
The mother took a deep breath and began:
- When two people love, honor, and respect each other, love can be a very beautiful thing...
- I know how to fuck, mother - the bride-to-be interrupted.
- I want you to teach me how to make a great lasagna!
- I heard the Warden's daughter up and married a guy down on Cellblock D. The Warden's mighty upset about it too.
- Why? Because she married a con?
- No. Because they eloped!
Is it all right to bring a date to the wedding?
→ Not if you are the groom.
How many showers is the bride supposed to have?
→ At least one within a week of the wedding.
What music is recommended for the wedding ceremony?
→ Anything except "Tied to the Whipping Post".
What is a wedding tragedy?
→ To marry a man for love, and then find out he has no money!
