Language Jokes — best jokes

- Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of

- Pupil: Life imprisonment!

- Teacher: In 1940, what were the Poles doing in Russia?

- Pupil: Holding up the telegraph lines!

- Teacher: What is can't short for?

- Pupil: Cannot miss

- Teacher: and what is don't short for

- Pupil: Doughnut

What do French pupils say after finishing their school dinners?
→ Mercy!

Where do children learn their ABC's?
→ At LMN-tary school!

- Teacher: The word politics - can you give me an example of how to use it?

- Pupil: My parrot swallowed a watch and now Polly ticks!

- Teacher: Give me a sentence with the words defence, defeat and detail in it.

- Pupil: When a horse jumps over defence, defeat go before detail!

- Teacher: Make up a sentence using the word lettuce!

- Pupil: Let us out of school early!

- Principal: I've called you into my office, Peter, because I want to talk to you about two words I wish you wouldn't use so often. One is "great" and the other is "lousy."

- Peter: Certainly, sir. What are they?

- Teacher: What is the outside of a tree called?

- Sam: I don't know.

- Teacher: Bark, Sam, bark.

- Sam: Bow, wow, wow!