Random joke from this category
A little girl climbed into her grandfather's lap and studied his white, balding head. She ran her fingers along the deep wrinkles and road mapped his face and neck.
- Did god make you? - she asked.
- yes - he answered.
- did god makeme, to? - she wondered.
- yes - he replied.
- well, she shrugged - don't you think he's doing a better job now than he used to?
A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair.
- I'm goin' to buy a green tie to wear for the parade - he said.
- I'll be back in a few minutes.
When the boy's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said:
- Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you.
- That wasn't my daddy - said the boy.
- He just walked up, took me by the hand and said:
- Come on, son, we're gonna get a free haircut!
What did the papa ghost say to the baby ghost.
→ Fasten your sheet belt.
Louise was watching her big sister covering her face with cream.
- What's that for?
- To make me beautiful.
Louise then watched in silence as she wiped her face clean.
- Doesn't work, does it?
- We're going to play elephants and circuses - said a little boy at kindergarten.
- Do you want to join in?
- I'd love to - replied the teacher.
- What do you want me to do?
- You can be the lady that feeds us peanuts!
What's green and purple and goes up and down?
→ Barney in an elevator.
A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply:
- I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter.
Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say:
- I'm Janey Sugarbrown.
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said:
- Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?
With her mother standing just a few feet away, the little girl replied:
- I thought I was, but Mommy says I'm not.
A little boy walked down the aisle at a wedding. As he made his way to the front, he would take two steps, then stop, and turn to the crowd, alternating between the bride's side and the groom's side. While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. And so it went-step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR-all the way down the aisle.
As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit.
The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and he was near tears by the time he reached the pulpit.
When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed back his tears and said:
- I was being the ring bear.
Why were ancient Egyptian children confused?
→ Because their daddies were mummies.
A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions.
- Davy, what noise does a cow make?
- It goes moo.
- Alice, what noise does a cat make?
- It goes meow.
- Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?
- It goes baaa.
- Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?
- Errr.., it goes.. click!
