Random joke from this category
Henry's son, David, burst into the house, crying. His mother asked him what the problem was.
- Daddy and I were fishing, and he hooked a giant fish. Really big. Then, while he was reeling it in, the line busted and the fish got away.
- Now come on, David - his mother said.
- a big boy like you shouldn't be crying about an accident like that. You should have just laughed it off.
- But that's just what I did, mommy.
There was a farmer who raised watermelons.
He was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat watermelons. After some careful thought he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. So he made up the sign and posted it in the field. The next day the kids show up and they see this sign, it says:
- Warning!! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide.
So the kids run off, make up their own sign and post it next to the sign that the farmer made. The farmer shows up the next week and when he looks over the field he notices that no watermelons are missing but he notices a new sign next to his. He drives up to the sign which read:
- Now there are two.
A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast.
The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation.
So he puts up a sign that reads:
- WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE!
He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons.
The farmer returns to the watermelon patch a week later to discover that none of the watermelons have been eaten, but finds another sign that reads:
- NOW THERE ARE TWO!
What usually comes after the monster lights the birthday candles?
→ The fire department.
Seems the Shah of Iran was visiting Disneyland with his young son. The son seemed to be having a good time but had that look that something else was on his mind. The Shah asked, "What do you really want, Son?" The Son said, "A Mickey Mouse Outfit." With that, the Shaw went out and bought him a uniform from the neighboring Fire Department.
A boy from France comes to America. He wants to learn some new words so he goes to the airport and learns "take off." Then he learnes "zebra" from the zoo and "baby" from the hospital. Then he goes home and says, "Mommy, I learned new words today." She says, "Great, honey what did you learn?" He says, "Takeoffzebrababy!"
Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby. The nurse brings them over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, definitely Caucasian white baby boy!
- Congratulations - says the nurse to the new parents.
- What will you name the baby?
The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says:
- Well, two Wong's don't make a white, so I think we will name him Sum Ting Wong!
Why did the Polish couple decide to have only 4 children?
→ They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born in the world today is Chinese.
The Arkansas lad was obviously deeply troubled.
- Why so glum, Chum? - asked the kindly stranger.
- If my parents get divorced...will they still be brother and sister?
A Jewish father has two kids who want to sell lemonade on the street corner for 15 cents a glass. He figures he'll spend about 3 bucks on the ingredients, the kids will sell maybe 10 glasses and then drink the rest and get stomach aches. His eventual response:
- Go stand on the corner for two hours and come back, I'll give you two dollars. Everybody wins.
