Food Jokes — best jokes

What do you call a masterbating bull?
→ Beef strokin'off.

What's the difference between a McDonalds Hamburger and Bill Clinton?
→ Some people in Arkansas haven't had a McDonald's hamburger!

How did the dairy queen get pregnant?
→ The burger king showed her his whopper!!!

This Zen Buddhist Monk walks up to a hotdog stand and says to the vender, "Give me one with everything".

So the vender makes him a hotdog with everything, hands it to the Buddhist Monk.

The Buddhist gives him a twenty dollar bill, the vender takes it, puts it in his cash register and shuts the door.

The Buddhist says, "Wait, where's my change?"

The vender replies, "Change must come from within".

Clinton and Gore went to a diner to get a bite to eat.

A good looking waitress comes up and asks, "Can I take your order?"

Clinton says, "Yes, I like a quickie!"

She turns a little red and say, "Sir, in your present state of affairs I don't think you should even be suggesting something like that. I will come back when you are ready to order from the MENU!"

As she walks away Gore leans over and says, "Bill, its pronounced quiche".

What is Monica's favorite chinese food?
→ Cream of sum young guy.

What did the salad say when the cabbage interrupted their meal?
→ Lettuce alone!

In the United States alone, there are over 10,000 cases of battered women.

And to think... all this time, I have been eating mine plain!

What did 1 strawberry say to another?
→ If you weren't so fresh you wouldn't be in this jam!

What did the Buddhist ask the pizza maker?
→ "Make me one with everything."