Food Jokes — best jokes

How can you get rich by eating?
→ Eat fortune cookies.

Why is money called dough?
→ Because we all knead it.

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start.

So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake.

I feel better already.

Men are like chocolate bars.
Sweet, smooth and they usually head right for your hips.

Wanting to lose weight, a woman placed a picture of a shapely, pinup model in her refrigerator to remind her of her goal.
The reminder worked like a charm as the woman discovered that she had lost ten pounds in the first month of using this method.
The downside to this was that her husband spent so much time going into the fridge to look at the picture that he ended up gaining fifteen pounds.

Why are lifesavers better than men?
→ They come in five flavors.

Two confirmed bachelors sat talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. "I got a cookbook once," said the first, "but I could never do anything with it."

"Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?" asked the second.

"You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way - 'Take a clean dish and....'"

How are men like noodles?
→ They are always in hot water, they lack taste and they need dough.

What does a man consider to be a seven course meal?
→ A hot dog and a six pack.

What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?
→ Any place without a drive-up window.