Ethnic — best jokes

One Polish surgeon asks another: "How did the operation go?"

"The operation was a success, but the patient died!"

What happened to a Brighton Beach prostitute who had an appendectomy performed by a Soviet emigre surgeon?
→ He sewed up the wrong hole, so now she's making money on the side.

A Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriend on the grounds of his father's house. His father was a successful doctor, and was carrying out a circumcision in the on-site surgery.

As they were walking, they heard a scream and a foreskin flew out of the window and landed at the girl's feet.

"What's this?" she asked.

"Taste it," he replied, "If you like it, I'll give you a whole one!"

A California couple discovered the wife was pregnant, but the family simply couldn't afford any more children. They looked around and found an excellent Hispanic family to adopt the child. Then they found out she was going to have twins. Fortunately, a family of Arab Americans agreed to adopt the other child. Twin healthy boys were born and passed along to the families, who named them Juan and Amal.

The biological parents kept in close touch with the adoptive parents in a very amicable relationships. One day, Juan's family sent a picture of the youth in his baseball uniform. The biological mother was so proud of her son. She said to her husband, "He is so handsome! I wish we had a picture like this of our other son, too."

He replied, "But dear, they are twins. When you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal!"

At an international meeting, two surgeons were having an argument. The Indian surgeon was saying, "No no no, I am telling you it is Woomba"

The African surgeon is saying, "No Man, it is Whoooooommmmmm"

They go on like this for about 10 minutes. Up comes the English surgeon, and interrupts them. "Excuse me chaps, but I do believe that the word you are trying to say is "Womb."

After he has gone away, the African turns to the Indian and says, "I bet you he has never even seen a hippopotamus, never mind heard one fart under water!"

What's long and hard and a Polish man gives it to his bride on their wedding night?
→ A last name.

A woman is on her honeymoon with her new French husband. She is giving him oral sex when the phone rings.

The husband answers it, to find out is his mother-in-law, asking for her daughter.

He says, "She cannot talk rrright now, she 'as a frog in ze thrrrought."

An Australian, a Frenchman and an Italian are talking about married life.

- Italian: When I finish making love to my wife, I cover her head to toe in wine, then lick it off, and my wife, she goes wild.

- Frenchman: When I finish making love to my wife, I cover her head to toe in chocolate, then lick it off, and my wife, she goes wild.

- Aussie: When I finish making love to my wife, I get out of bed and wipe my dick on the curtains, and my wife...she goes wild!

A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.

"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British."

"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French."

"No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. They are Russian!"

These two Polaks are building a house. One of them is putting on the siding. He picks up a nail, hammers it in. Picks up another nail, throws it away. Picks up a nail, hammers it in. Picks up another, throws it away. This goes on for a while, and finally his friend comes over and asks him why he is throwing half of the nails away.

He replies, "Those ones were pointed on the wrong end."

The buddy gets exasperated and says... "You idiot, those are for the other side of the house!"