Ethnic — best jokes

What happens when you have:

• 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
• 2 French men and 1 French woman
• 2 German men and 1 German woman
• 2 Greek man and 1 Greek woman
• 2 English men and 1 English woman
• 2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman
• 2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman
• 2 American men and 1 American woman
• 2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman

One month later on these absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:

One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

The 2 French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage ? trois.

The 2 German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman.

The 2 Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.

The 2 English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.

The Bulgarian men took a long look at the endless ocean and one look at the Bulgarian woman and they started swimming.

The 2 American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide, while the American woman keeps on bitching about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, about the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her much nicer and how her relationship with her mother is improving. But at least the taxes are low and it is not raining.

The 2 Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are waiting for instructions.

The Irish began by dividing the island into North and South and by setting up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey, but they are satisfied in that at least the English are not getting any!

A black guy and a puerto rican guy are both in a car...who's driving?

A Cop!!!

What did the black baby say to its mother when it had diarrhea?
→ "Mommy, I'm melting!!!"

Degrees (Fahrenheit)

65 degrees: Hawaiians declare a two-blanket night

60 degrees: Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one)

50 degrees: Miami residents turn on the heat

45 degrees: Vermont residents go to outdoor concerts

40 degrees: You can see your breath
Californians shiver uncontrollably
Minnesotans go swimming

35 degrees: Italian cars don't start

32 degrees: Water freezes

30 degrees: You plan your vacation to Australia

25 degrees: Ohio water freezes
Californians weep pitiably
Minnesotans eat ice cream
Canadians go swimming

20 degrees: Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
New York City water freezes
Miami residents plan vacation further South

15 degrees: French cars don't start
Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you

10 degrees: You need jumper cables to get the car going

5 degrees: American cars don't start

0 degrees: Alaskans put on T-shirts

-10 degrees: German cars don't start
Eyes freeze shut when you blink

-15 degrees: You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects
Miami residents cease to exist

-20 degrees: Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you
Politicians actually do something about the homeless
Minnesotans shovel snow off roof
Japanese cars don't start

-25 degrees: Too cold to think
You need jumper cables to get the driver going

-30 degrees: You plan a two week hot bath
Swedish cars don't start

-40 degrees: Californians disappear
Minnesotans button top button
Canadians put on sweaters
Your cat helps you plan your trip South

-50 degrees: Congressional hot air freezes
Alaskans close the bathroom window

-80 degrees: Hell freezes over
Polar bears move South
Viking Fans order hot cocoa at the game

-90 degrees: Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets!

Why are Australians like kiwifruit?
→ Because they are rough on the outside, green on the inside..... and too many of them will give you the shits!

Buckwheat and Darla were in school and the teacher asked Darla, 'How do you spell 'dumb'?'

Darla says, "d-u-m-b, dumb."

The teacher says, "Very good. Now use it in a sentence."

She responds, "Buckwheat is dumb."

"Now spell 'stupid'."

Darla says, "s-t-u-p-i-d."

The teacher says, "Very good. Now use it in a sentence."

Darla says, "Buckwheat is stupid."

Then the teacher call on Buckwheat and asks, "Buckwheat, spell dictate."

Buckwheat stands up and says, "d-i-c-t-a-t-e, dictate."

The teacher says, "Very good. Now use it in the a sentence." "I may be dumb and I may be stupid, but Darla says my dictate good!"

What do you call a pregnant Black woman?
→ A dope carrier!

What's the difference between an african lion and OJ Simpson?
→ An african lion is an african lion, OJ Simpson is a lyin african!

Where do the Ku Klux Klan buy there sh-sh-sheets?
→ At the k-k-k Mart.

An American has sex with a Soviet emigre woman and catches a strange venereal disease (this time, a green ring around the base of the penis). The patient goes to a doctor who says he's never seen anything like it, but his penis would probably have to be amputated.

The patient then goes to another doctor, who also doesn't know anything about this decease, but thinks the amputation is indicated. Deeply distressed, the patient decided to go to a Soviet emigre doctor, figuring he may be familiar with this V. D.

Indeed, the Soviet emigre doctor says, "I know this decease! Your American doctors always want to cut. Don't do anything. Two week later, prick fall off by himself!"