Dumb Jokes — best jokes

What do you get when you cross a 1-legged Polak with a Mongoloid?
→ A Polaroid One-Step.

Did you hear about the Polak who studied for 5 days?
→ He was scheduled to take a urine test.

An American is walking down the street when he sees a Polak with a very long pole and a yardstick. He's standing the pole on its end and trying to reach the top of it with his yardstick.

Seeing the Polak's ignorance, the American wrenches the pole out of his hand, lays it on the sidewalk, measures it with the yardstick, and says, "There! 10 feet long."

The Polak grabs the yardstick and shouts, "You idiot American! I don't care how long it is! I want to know how high it is!"

What happened to the Polish National Library?
→ Someone stole the book.

Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
→ From eating with forks.

Never slap a man who chews tobacco.

There are many many more asses in the world than donkeys.

Wooden legs are not hereditary, wooden heads are.

Free cheese is always in a mouse trap.

An ugly carpet will last forever.

Ask the following to a Blonde to see if she is a DUMB BLONDE or a smart blonde...yeah right...

1. Who do want to be most like in life:
   A) Vanna White
   B) Michelle Fiefer
   C) Britney Spears
   D) None of the Above
2. In a game of Hide-And-Go Seek, do you:
   A) Run when you see the seeker
   B) Stay hiding until the seeker finds you
   C) Run when the seeker sees you
   D) Follow the seeker quietly
3. What happens when you get Alzheimers Disease
   A) You loose alot of weight
   B) Gain weight
   C) Get really smart
   D) Loose your memory
4. How do you kill a bird:
   A) Hit it
   B) Throw it off a building
   C) Cook it
   D) All of the above
5. What's an important question about pregnancy
   A) Is it mine
   B) How far along am I
   C) Is it a boy or girl
   D) What hospital should I go to for delivery

Don't read them this part:

Results:

1. A=5pts. B=3pts. C=2pts. D=1pt.
2. A=4 B=5 C=2 D=3
3. A=4 B=3 C=5 D=1
4. A=3 B=5 C=4 D=1
5. A=5 B=1 C=3 D=2

TOTAL: 20 = Official Dumb Blonde; 15-19 = Pretty Dumb; 10-14 = Not Bad; 9 = Smart for a Blonde

A man walks into a shop.

- You got one of them Marshall Hiwatt AC30 amplificatior thingies and a Gobson StratoBlaster geetar with a Fried Rose tremolo?

- You're a drummer, aren't you?

- Yeah. How'd you know?

- This is a travel agency.

Bob is throwing a party. He decides that, to break the ice at his party, he'll ask his guests what their I.Q. is--hopefully this will strike up an appropriate conversation from there.

The day of Bob's party rolls around, and when the first guest knocks on the door, Bob asks the person what her I.Q. is. "200,000" replies the first guest.

"Well, that's great," says Bob, "let's talk about ethereal astro physics."

Bob and this first guest talk about the aforementioned subject for a while.

Later in the party, someone else is at the door. "Hi my name is Bob; welcome to my party, what's your I.Q.?"

The new guest responds with "250".

"Great," says Bob. "Lets talk about advanced math." Bob and his new guest talk about calculus and statistics for awhile.

Much later in the party, after many more guests had arrived and been spoken to by Bob, yet another guest arrives at the door. "Hi, my name's Bob; welcome to my party, what's your I.Q.?"

This time the guest replies after putting some thought into it, "five."

"Well, that's great," says Bob, "what kind of drumsticks do you use?"

Reasons why a normal Car is a far superior vehicle than a F1 Car

Hundreds of people and tens of millions of dollars go into building an F1 car, but a normal car is a far superior vehicle. You wonder what goes through those guys' minds when design their cars. THEY'RE ALL WRONG!!!!

1. No door... I mean, people have to climb in. Actually, ANYBODY can climb in and steal it. Pffft!
2. No roof... The people who drive these things are left open to the elements. Like, even convertible cars have something you can pull over your head.
3. No radio (AM and FM), no cassette nor CD player... how boring it must be to drive in those things for close to two hours without having anything to listen to.
4. No heating... Being left open to the elements, the drivers' toes must become very cold after a while.
5. No coffee cup holder... Those guys can spill all the hot (and dangerous stuff) over themselves. What with them steering with one hand and trying to drink with the other.
6. No ashtrays and electric lighter...
7. No windshield wipers... and they expect them to race in the rain?
8. No windshields... Well, I guess no. 7 and 8 go hand in hand.
9. No turn signals... How can they indicate they intend to pass?
10. No headlights... No wonder they only drive in the day time.
11. Only one brake light...
12. Only one seat... How can a guy go necking with his girlfriend at the local drive in?
13. No anchor for a baby seat... And they are trying to make us believe that safety comes first?
14. No trunk...
15. No adjustable seats... (mine goes back and forth, and can be tilted as well)
16. High fuel consumption...
17. Engines that don't last...
18. Tyres that just wear off in no time flat...
19. Where's the bloody ignition? I guess it's back to the old Model T days when the cars had to be crank started.
20. No sun visor... Must be fun driving those things with the sun in the eyes.

Talk about accidents waiting to happen.