Dirty Jokes — best jokes

Two bananas are lying on a river bank when a turd comes floating by.

The turd looks over and says, "Hey! Come on in! The water's fine!"

One banana turns to the other banana and says, "Do you believe that shit?"

What's a transvestite's idea of a good time?
→ Eat, drink, and be Mary!

What's the difference between a white gerbil and a brown gerbil?
→ The white one got away.

What's the definition of AIDS?
→ Anally Injected Death Sentence.

Why do gays eat refried beans on Saturday night?
→ So they can take a bubble bath Sunday morning.

A popular whore house was visited by a lesbian. The lesbian requested a 15 year old, and the madam replied, "I'm sorry, we don't serve minors to lickers."

An old man and an old lady are getting ready for bed one night when all of a sudden the woman bursts out of the bathroom, flings open her robe and yells: "Super Pussy!"

The old man says: "I'll have the soup."

A couple of geezers were sitting on a bench outside the nursing home, having a little chat. "How are you, Tom?" asked Marvin.

"I'm not feeling well today - utterly exhausted," Tom replied. "I pulled a muscle and it's killing me."

"That pulled muscle shouldn't make you so tired, though."

"Well, it does if you pull it a couple of hundred times...."

What do jello and a woman have in common?
→ They both wiggle when you eat them.

A long-haired youth was hitchhiking through the deep South.

He got a ride from a mean-looking redneck trucker. After riding about 30 miles in silence, the youth finally said, "Well, aren't you going to ask me?"

- Ask you what?

- If I'm a boy or a girl.

- Don't matter. Gonna fuck ya anyway.