Dirty Jokes — best jokes

A woman and her friend are visiting the zoo. They are standing in front of the big silver back gorilla's cage when one woman makes a gesture that the gorilla interprets as an invitation. He grabs her, yanks her over the fence, and takes her to his nest in the pen. There he ravishes her and makes passionate love to her for about 2 hours till he is tranquilized, and the lady taken to hospital.

Her friend, deeply concerned, visits her the next day. "Are you hurt?" she asks.

She replies, "Of course I'm hurt! He hasn't called! He hasn't written!"

What do you call a dog with no back legs and balls of steel?
→ Sparky

What's the difference between a rotwieler and a poodle?
→ If a rotwieler starts humping your leg you let it finish.

What do you call a dog with two balls and no hind legs?
→ Sparky

What do you call a dog with no legs?
→ Hehe...it doen't matter, it's not going to come anyway!

Two male flies are buzzing around, cruising for good looking females. One spots a real cutie sitting on a pile of cow shit and dives down toward her.

"Pardon me" he asks, turning on his best charm, "...but is this stool taken?"

It's so easy to milk a cow. Any jerk can do it.

What's the difference between a bull and a cow?
→ A bull smiles when you milk it.

What do you do when a Rottweiler gets amorous on your leg?
→ Fake an orgasm.

What did the elephant say to the naked man?
→ That's cute, but can it pick up peanuts!