Dirty Jokes — best jokes

Why did God create women?
→ To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.

Why is Viagra like Disneyworld?
→ You have to wait an hour for a three minute ride

Did you ever blow bubbles as a child? Yeh, well he's back in town and wants your new number.

A young woman goes to her doctor complaining that the insides of her upper thighs have turned green.
The doctor examined her and asked her if by any chance she went out with a Romany.
When she said yes the doctor said "Well tell him his ear rings aren't real gold!!!"

Is it sexual harassment if you go to a woman and tell her her hair smells nice?
→ What if the man is a dwarf?

This woman had a magic mirror from which anything you wanted you got, so one day she stood in front of the mirror and said I wish I had bigger breasts and it happened. So then she ran downstairs to show her husband. He was so amazed that he ran upstairs and stood in front of the mirror and said I wish my dick could touch the floor and his legs fell off!

What did the sign on the whore house say?
→ Beat it we are closed

Did u know that a condom had a serial number?
→ No, I never had to unroll one that far.

What is it that all men have one of; it's longer on some men than on others; the Pope doesn't use his; and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
→ surname

What is hard, six inches long, has two nuts, and can make a girl fat?
→ Almond Joy candy bar