Computer Jokes — best jokes

How does the vicar explore the Internet?
→ With the church mouse.

How do you find white shirts on the Internet?
→ Use a starch engine.

- Does your mum like shopping on the Internet?

- No, the trolley keeps rolling off the top of the computer.

Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 11 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions.
He took the 175-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 25,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.

Jim sees his neighbor out back building a bunker, loading in 75 gallons of bottled water, hauling in a gas generator and so on. "So, uh, I guess you believe Y2K is a biggie huh?"
"Naw", says the neighbor. "Ah's jes' stockin' the bunker now, 'cuz if I did it any other time, people'd think ah's nuts."

My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

What kind of horse has trouble keeping track of his Macintosh?
→ An Appaloosa!

What do you call the queue of Software Engineers standing outside Heaven?
→ The Y2K deadline!

Have you seen the new fishing website?
→ No, it's not online yet.

What do you get when you cross a Fire Chief two Lotus Notes Gurus?
→ FireWeb .... of course!