Christmas Jokes — best jokes

If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called?
→ A subordinate claus.

What nationality is Santa Claus?
→ North Polish.

- Elf: Santa, one of the reindeer swallowed my pencil! What should I do?

- Santa: Use a pen.

What can Santa give away and still keep?
→ A cold.

Last year's Christmas pudding was so awful I threw it in the ocean.
That's probably why the ocean's full of currants!

- Who made this Christmas pudding?

- Our chef. He's a little green man who lives in a toadstool.

- What did he use to make it?

- Elf-raising flour, of course.

- Doctor, Doctor, Father Christmas gives us oranges every Christmas. Now I think I'm turning into an orange!

- Have you tried playing squash?

How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?
→ A merry Christmas to ewe

What does Dracula write on his Christmas cards?
→ Best vicious of the season

- I've had a slight accident with your sleigh, Father Christmas!

- Father Christmas: Oh no! That sleigh was in mint condition!

- That's all right....now it's a mint with a hole!