Celebrities — best jokes

What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter?
→ Jimmy Carter waited until after the inauguration to break his promises.

What Biblical and Renaissance characters does Hillary most resemble?
→ Jezebel and Lucretia Borgia.

What kind of jewelry does Hillary look best in?
→ Handcuffs.

What kind of neckwear does Hillary Clinton look best in?
→ A noose.

What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Joseph Stalin?
→ Some of Stalin's subjects admired him.

How many Clinton White House officials does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ None. They like to keep him in the dark!

Bill Clinton is writing his memoirs.

They're called "The Johnson Years".

How many Clinton administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ Two--one to screw the bulb into the water faucet while the other tells us that everything possible is being done to help the situation.

Why does the secret service guard Hillary so closely?
→ Because if something happens to her, Bill becomes President!

Did you hear Chrysler is introducing a new car to commemorate President Clinton's election?
→ It's gonna be called the Dodge Drafter!