Business Jokes — best jokes

A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law.

- I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family - said the man.

- To show you how much we care for you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations.

The son-in-law interrupted:

- I hate factories. I can't stand the noise.

- I see - replied the father-in-law.

- Well, then you'll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations.

- I hate office work - said the son-on-law.

- I can't stand being stuck behind a desk all day.

- Wait a minute - said the father-in-law.

- I just make you half-owner of a moneymaking organization, but you don't like factories and won't work in a office. What am I going to do with you?

- Easy - said the young man.

- Buy me out.

What's the best thing about turning 65?
→ No more calls from insurance salesmen.

What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds?
→ Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.

The producer of a low budget film is trying to convince the newly hired director of the quality of the work by telling him the big names they've gotten for the cast.

- First of all - he tells him:

- We've got Gibson in the lead.

The director is surprised:

- You got Mel Gibson?

- Well, no - the Producer responds:

- we got Marvin Gibson, he's a distant cousin who lives in Queens, but he's very up and coming. And besides, we've also got Redford.

- You got Robert Redford? - the director asks.

- No, we got Jeremy Redford, but he's very talented and has lots of acting experience from years of dinner theater. But - he says enthusiastically:

- we've got Streisand and in a singing role.

- Barbara Streisand? - he asks.

- No, Elizabeth Streisand - The Producer responds.

- But she's got a great voice. AND we've got Goulet.

- You got Robert Goulet? - the director asks.

- Yeah - the producer replies glumly:

- we got Robert Goulet.

A monster walked into the council rent office with a $5 note stuck in one ear and a $10 note in the other.

You see, he was $15 in arrears.

How did the world's tallest monster become short overnight?
→ Someone stole all his money.

How did Dr Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
→ On a piece rate.

Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
→ He wanted cold hard cash!

After years of scrimping and saving, a husband told his wife the good news:

- Honey, we've finally got enough money to buy what we started saving for in 1979.

- You mean a brand-new Cadillac? - she asked eagerly.

- No - said the husband - a 1979 Cadillac.

Did you hear about the Wall Street investment banker who won $10 million in the lottery?
→ He's so happy that he's giving some serious thought to paying back his student loan.