Business Jokes — most commented jokes

Finally, a definition of Marketing that makes sense....

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:

- I'm fantastic in bed.

That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says:

- He's fantastic in bed.

That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say:

- Hi, I'm fantastic in bed.

That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say:

- By the way, I'm fantastic in bed.

That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:

- I hear you're fantastic in bed.

That's Brand Recognition.

How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ None. Capricorns can't afford new lightbulbs --- unless they're a legitimate business expense.

How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?
→ He prawned everything!

Well-known lodging chain announced it was creating a line of no-frills hotels. The only way you'll see a chocolate on the pillow now is if the last guest was eating an M&M.

A businessman was having a tough time lugging his lumpy, oversized travel bag onto the plane.
Helped by a flight attendant, he finally managed to stuff it in the overhead bin.

- Do you always carry such heavy luggage? - she sighed.

- No more - the man said.

- Next time, I'm riding in the bag, and my partner can buy the ticket!

Why was Dracula always willing to help young vampires?
→ Because he liked to see new blood in the business.

- Customer: I'd like a watch that tells time.

- Clerk: Don't you have a watch that tells time?

- Customer: No, you have to look at it.

How does Ebenezer Scrooge make phone calls?
→ Collect!

What did the man say when he got a big phone bill?
→ "Who said talk is cheap?"

What is the bank manager's favourite type of football?
→ Fiver side!