Business Jokes — best jokes

Dentist to parsimonious patient "No, we give no discount for empty spaces when cleaning and polishing teeth Mrs. Borde!"

- Dentist: Just let me finish and you will be another man after these cosmetic procedures.

- Patient: Okay doc, but don't forget to send your bill to the other man.

- I am sorry, madam, but I shall have to charge you hundred dollars for pulling your boy's tooth.

- Hundred dollars! Why, I understood you to say that you charged only twenty dollars for such work!

"Yes," replied the dentist, "but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared out four other patients out of the office."

- Patient: It must be tough spending all day with your hands in someone's mouth.

- Dentist: I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet.

- Detective: How did you get into counterfeiting?

- Criminal: I answered an ad that said, "Make money at home."

A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?"

The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?"

Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain?
→ He has got no beef.

Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
→ In his beef case!

Is there big money in the cattle business?
→ So I've herd!

A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination.

On the paper there was a single line which simply said: "Is this a question?" - Discuss.

After a short time he wrote: "If that is a question, then this is an answer."

The student received an "A" on the exam.

A Boston brokerage house advertised for a "young Harvard graduate or the equivalent."

Among the inquiries received was one from a Yale grad. He said, "Do you mean two Princeton men, or a Yale man part time?"