Business Jokes — best jokes

Two Jewish businessmen meet in the street.

- Well, Morrie, how's your warehouse business going?

- Oy vey, Abraham, it's not going so good, we had a flood last week.

- So, Morrie, how do you start a flood?

Two Jewish businessmen meet in the street.

- Oy, Abraham, I'm sorry to hear about that fire at your warehouse.

- Ssh! It's not till next week.

Scorcher Murphy was selling his house, and put the matter in an agent's hands. The agent wrote up a sales blurb for the house that made wonderful reading. After Murphy read it, he turned to the agent and asked,

"Have I got all ye say there?"

The agent said, "Certainly ye have... Why d'ye ask?"

Replied Murphy, "Cancel the sale...'tis too good to part with."

An old Native American wanted a loan for $500.

He approached his local banker. The banker pulled out the loan application, asking, "What are you going to do with the money?"

"Take jewelry to city and sell it," said the old man.

"What have you got for collateral?" queried the banker, going strictly by the book.

"Don't know of collateral."

"Well that's something of value that would cover the cost of the loan. Have you got any vehicles?"

"Yes, I have a 1949 Chevy pickup."

The banker shook his head, "How about livestock?"

"Yes, I have a horse."

"How old is it?"

"I don't know; it has no teeth."

Finally the banker decided to make the $500 loan.

Several weeks later the old man was back in the bank. He pulled out a roll of bills, "Here's the money to pay loan," he said, handing the entire amount including interest.

"What are you going to do with the rest of that money?"

"Put it in my pocket."

"Why don't you deposit it in my bank?" he asked.

"I don't know of deposit."

"Well, you put the money in our bank and we take care of it for you. When you want to use it you can withdraw it."

The old Indian leaned across the desk, looking suspiciously at the banker, and asked, "What you got for collateral?"

What dog takes the money and runs fast?
→ A payhound!

What place of business helps dogs who have lost their tails?
→ A retail store.

Where did the dog breeder keep his savings?
→ In bark-lays bank!

The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will."

"That is very kind of you," said the doctor emotionally, and then added, "May I see that prescription I just gave you? I'd like to make a little change..."

- The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks.

- And did he?

- Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill.

A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $600.
The doctor exclaimed, "This is ridiculous! I don't even make that much as a doctor!."
The plumber quietly answered, "Neither did I when I was a doctor."