Animal Jokes — best jokes

What do you get if you cross a salmon, a bird's leg and a hand?
→ Birdsthigh fish fingers!

What bit of fish doesn't make sense?
→ The piece of cod that passeth all understanding!

Which fish go to heaven when they die?
→ Angelfish!

Why are fish so smart?
→ They are always in schools!

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
→ Fish!

How do fish go into business?
→ The start on a small scale!

When fish play football, who is the captain?
→ The team's kipper!

A man was fishing in the jungle. After a while another angler came to join him. "Have you had any bites?" asked the second man. "Yes, lots," replied the first one, "but they were all mosquitoes."

Two fishermen were out on the lake when one of them dropped his wallet. As they watched the wallet float down to the depths of the lake, a carp came along and snatched up the wallet. Soon came another carp who stole it away and then a third joined in. Remarked one of the fisherman, "That's the first time I've ever seen carp-to-carp walleting."

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted:

- Are there any gators around here?!

- Naw, they ain't been around for years! - the man hollered back.

Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore.

About halfway there he asked the guy:

- How'd you get rid of the gators?

- We didn't do nothin' - the beachcomber said.

- The sharks got 'em.