Travel Jokes — most viewed jokes

"Take the wheel, Harry!" said the nervous lady driver. "There's a tree coming straight for us!"

Did you hear about the Irishman who tried to swim the English channel?
Halfway across he decided he couldn't make it so he swam back.

Where did the fortune-teller go on her vacation?
→ To Palm Beach.

What do you call a horse that's been all around the world?
→ A globe-trotter!

Did you hear about the girl who was so keen on road safety that she always wore white at night?
→ Last Winter she was knocked down by a snow plough

- Brother: How do you top a car?

- Sister: Tep on the brake, tupid.

A man was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked if he had anything to say in his defense. "They shouldn't put up such misleading notices," said the man. "It said FINE FOR PARKING HERE."

What did one car muffler say to the other car muffler?
→ "Am I exhausted!"

A magician was employed by a Shipping Line to entertain the passengers during cruises. The captain owned a parrot which always insisted on being part of the acts put on by the magician. He would perch on the edge of the stage and screech, "He does it with a mirror" or "He's got it up his sleeve." The magician was furious, but since the bird was a favorite with the captain and he was anxious to retain his position for future cruises, he maintained an angry silence.
One evening as the magician worked, the parrot continued to harass the unfortunate man. Sadly the ship ran into a mine which had become detached from the sea floor after a storm. The explosion tore the bow off the ship which sank within a few minutes. Amid the wreckage and the lifeboats, the magician sat on one end of a table from the first class dining room. At the other end sat the parrot, dirty and disheveled, his feathers caked with fuel oil. For some time they eyed each other malevolently saying nothing. Finally the parrot shook himself and advanced across the table. He fixed the magician with a beady eye. "Okay, I give up," he squawked. "What did you do with the ship?"

Jill's car was unreliable and she called John for a ride every time it broke down.

One day John got yet another one of those calls. "What happened this time?" he asked.

"My brakes went out," Jill said. "Can you come to get me?"

"Where are you?" John asked.

"I'm in the drugstore," Jill responded.

"And where's the car?" John asked.

Jill replied, "It's in here with me."