Travel Jokes — most viewed jokes

What do you get if you cross an Egyptian mummy with a car mechanic?
→ Toot and Car Man.

The newlyweds arrived at the front desk of the posh ocean-side resort in Hilton Head, South Carolina, looking all fresh, and eager to enjoy their two week vacation/honeymoon.

The stunning blonde at the front desk smiled and said, "Well, hi Jimmy, how ya been lover? Long time no see."

A frosty silence prevailed until the couple reached their room. Once inside, the piqued bride demanded: "And just who was THAT woman?!?!?"

The groom wiped his brow and said, "Just relax honey. Please! I'm going to have enuff trouble explaining you to her."

What is a banged-up used car?
→ A car in first-crash condition.

What is the best thing to take when you're run over?
→ The number of the car that hit you.

Why is an old car like a baby playing?
→ Because it goes with a rattle.

- Learner driver: What happens when everything's coming your way?

- Instructor: You're in the wrong lane.

What's worse than raining buckets?
→ Hailing taxis!

What did the man put on his car when the weather was cold?
→ An extra muffler.

A monster goes to a petrol station and says: Fill me up
The man at the petrol station replies: You have to have a car for me to do that!
The monster replies: But I had a car for lunch!

A man was fed up of having his car broken into and having his radio stolen he decided he would remove it when he parked his car he also left a note saying there is no point in breaking in my car as there is nothing to steal. When he returned to his car it had been broken into again and there was a new note where his had left his, saying just checking.!