Sport Jokes — most viewed jokes

What is the bank manager's favourite type of football?
→ Fiver side!

What part of a football pitch smells nicest?
→ The scenter spot!

What part of a football ground is never the same?
→ The changing rooms!

What is a horse's favourite sport?
→ Stable tennis!

A guy walks into a bar with a dog under his arm, puts the dog on the bar and announces that the dog can talk and that he has $100 he's willing to bet anyone who says he can't.

The bartender quickly takes the bet and the owner looks at the dog and asks, "What's the thing on top of this building which keeps the rain from coming inside?"
The dog answers "ROOF."
The bartender says, "Who are you kidding? I'm not paying."

The dogs owner says, "How about double or nothing and I'll ask him something else."

The bartender agrees and the owner turns to the dog and asks, "Who was the greatest ballplayer of all time?"
The dog answers with a muffled "RUTH."

With that the bartender picks them both up and throws them out the door.

As they bounce on the sidewalk, the dog looks at his owner and says,

"DiMaggio?"

Supplemental Rules for Bowling:

• If you holler "overs!" before the ball passes the arrows, you get to throw the ball over, unless of course, you get a strike. In which case, you can renege on the "overs".
• When your team is about 10 marks down in the 8th or 9th frame, you can invoke the rule "First Team Through Bowling Wins the Game", and your team still has a chance.
• After a member of the opposing team bowls 4 strikes in a row, he/she must bowl the next 4 frames blindfolded. If he/she continues to strike, his/her shoelaces will be tied together for 2 frames.
• When you leave the 10-pin and you know you can't make the spare, but another member of your team can, invoke the "Designated Bowler" rule.
• After you have 4 splits in one game, you may say "Kings X" and take those 4 frames over. However, if you split on the 2nd time around, you accept it. After all, "Fair is Fair".
• If your ball goes in the gutter and jumps back onto the lane, knocking dow pins, by golly, you get them! That's much harder than to knock them down the conventional way. Good bowling should be recognized.
• A ball should be declared dead when you bowl 3 games without a strike. It shall be the owners privilege to decide on the disposition of said dead ball - Burial at Sea, Dropped from an airplane over a live volcano, or a simple burial in the city dump. For a small fee, a league officer can be bribed to deliver a short eulogy.

Why are football grounds odd?
→ Because you can sit in the stands but can't stand in the sits!

- Manager: Twenty teams in the league and you lot finish bottom?

- Captain: Well, it could have been worse.

- Manager: How?

- Captain: There could have been more teams in the league!

What does Paul Inces mum make for Christmas?
→ Ince pies!

Who won the race between two balls of string?
→ They were tied!