Random joke from this category
In the Ohio State Buckeyes locker room in Columbus, there's a sign stating "Play like champions today!"
There's also one in the Michigan Wolverines locker room that says: "Don't forget your HELMET!"
- Manager: I'll give you fifty pounds a week to start with and a hundred pounds a week in a year's time.
- Young player: OK, I'll come back in a year's time!
- What's the biggest fish you ever caught?
- That would be the one that measured fourteen inches....
- That's not so big!
- Between the eyes?
How did the footbal pitch end up as triangle?
→ Somebody took a corner!
Why was the pig unhappy in the Minors?
→ Because he wants to play in the Pig Leagues.
What did the footballer say when he accidentally burped during a game?
→ Sorry, it was a freak hic!
A man walks into a Kansas bar with his golden retriever. "Hey," says the bartender, "No dogs allowed in the bar." "Oh please?," begs the customer.
"You see, you're playing the Royals game, and my dog is a really big fan of the Royals." "You're trying to tell me that this here dog is a BASEBALL FAN?! Both of you get out of my bar," says the bartender.
"No animals allowed, and YOU belong in a mental institution. Dogs don't like baseball!"
Just then, the Royals get a hit. The dog goes wild. He jumps up on the bar and hops around in circles on his hind legs. Then he does the same on his front legs! The bartender is astounded. "That is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! Who ever thought a DOG could like baseball?! I'm curious though....if he gets that excited when the Royals get a hit, what does he do when they get a home run?"
"I don't know," confesses the owner, "I've only had him for five years."
- Manager: Our new midfielder cost ten million. I call him our wonder player.
- Fan: Why's that?
- Manager: Everytime he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy him!
- May: What position does your brother play in the school football team?
- Jay: I think he's one of the drawbacks!
Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City.
The Brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus.
The Blonde team rides on the top level.
The Brunette team down below is whooping it up having a great time, when one of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from the Blondes upstairs.
She decides to go up and investigate. When the Brunette reaches the top, she finds all the Blondes frozen in fear, staring straight-ahead at the road, and clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.
The Brunette asks, "What the heck's goin' on up here? We're havin' a grand time downstairs!"
One of the Blondes from the second team looks up and says...
"Yeah, but you've got a driver!"
