Random joke from this category
"Do you really believe your husband when he tells you he goes fishing every weekend?" asked Jane's best friend.
"Why shouldn't I?" said Jane.
"Well, maybe he is having an affair?"
"No way" said Jane "he never returns with any fish..."
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
→ He heard the referee calling fowls
What does a nymphomaniac say after she's had sex?
→ Do all you guys play for the same team?
What you get when four men go fishing and one comes back not catching anything.
→ Three Men And A Baby
What kind of musical instrument can you use for fishing?
→ The cast-a-net.
What is the bank manager's favourite type of football?
→ Fiver side!
There was a salmon fisherman who was out in the ocean fishing when his boat sank. He was lucky enough to make to a deserted island where he had to survive on what he could find.
When the Coastguard eventually found him, the leader noticed there was a fire pit with California Condor feathers all around.
He went over to the fisherman and said, "You know, it's illegal to kill a California Condor, I'm afraid I'm going to have to arrest you."
The fisherman protested for some time saying that he killed it because he was going to starve but eventually he calmed down.
"Out of curiosity" the coastguard asked, "What did it taste like?"
The fisherman replied, "Well, it was kind of a mix between a snowy owl and a bald eagle."
Two Irishmen were walking down the street with two salmon each under their arms.
Two other Irishmen walking in the opposite direction see the two lucky fishermen and ask "how did you catch those?"
Well its like this! Michael here holds my legs over the bridge, and I grab the salmon as they swim up the river. We got four salmon A great days fishing!
So the fishless pair look at each other and agree to give it a try. They get to the bridge and Sean calls to his friend "hold my legs now Paddy".
Well he is hanging there upside down for thirty minutes when he suddenly cries.. "pull me up, pull me up!!"
Paddy asks "do you have a fish Sean?"............
No replies Sean, "there's a bloody train coming!!!!!!!!"
What's the chilliest ground in the premiership?
→ Cold Trafford!
Why do managers bring suitcases along to away games?
→ So that they can pack the defence!
