Random joke from this category
A guest from some foreign country was bragging that in HIS country there is 79 different ways to make mad passionate love.
Ray listened patiently.
- That's amazing. Where I come from there's really only one.
"Oh," sniffed the Romeo, "just one? And which way is that?"
- Well, there's a man and there's a woman . . .
"Praise Allah!!! Number 80!!!"
A middle-aged guy and his date are making out hot and heavy in the movies when his toupee slides off. As he's groping around for it, his hand goes between her legs, up under her skirt, and lands on her twat.
She says, "That's it! That's it!"
He says, "It can't be. I part mine on the side."
A couple on their honeymoon woke up after their big night.
The bride rolled over and said, "That was nice but tell me, what did my pussy look like before you rooted it?"
The husband replied "Like a beautiful rose with drops of dew on it."
"That's nice honey" she replied, "What did it look like after you rooted it?"
"Like a bulldog eating porridge" the husband replied.
How can you tell if your date really digs oral sex?
→ She hikes up her skirt every time you yawn.
G: Nobody gets the girl.
PG: The good guy gets the girl.
R: The bad guy gets the girl.
X: Everybody gets the girl!
The doctor because he says "Take your clothes off."
The dentist because he says "Open wide."
The hair dresser because he says "Do you want them teased or blown?"
The milkman because he says "Do you want it in the back or in the front?"
The interior decorator because he says "Once it's in you'll love it."
The banker because he says "If you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest."
A woman walks into a hardware store and says "I want to buy a hinge."
The clerk says "Do you wanna screw for that hinge?"
The woman says, "No, but I'll blow you for the toaster."
Ingredients:
Method:
Cake done when Banana becomes soft. Be sure to wash mixing utensils and don't lick the bowl.
N.B. If cake begins to rise leave town immediately.
Horses in the race are:
At the Post:
They're off! Conscience is left behind at the post.
Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry.
Heavy Bosum is being pressured.
Passionate lady is caught between Thighs and Big Johnson in a very tight spot.
At the Halfway Mark it's Bare Belly on top.
Thighs opens up and Big Johnson is pressed in.
Heavy Bosum is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets.
Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly.
Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Johnson.
At The Stretch Merry Cherry cracks under the strain.
Big Johnson is making a final drive.
Passionate Lady is coming.
At The Finish It's Big Johnson giving everything he's got and Passionate Lady takes everything Big Johnson has to offer.
It looks like a dead heat but Big Johnson squirts through and wins by a head.
Heavy Bosum weakens and Thighs pulls-up.
Clean Sheets never had a chance.
How big is Bill Clinton's Penis?
→ Not as big as Hillary's
