Sex Jokes — most viewed jokes

What does a camera and a condom have in common?
→ They both capture that magic moment.

A blind guy goes into a whore house. A girl takes him upstairs and starts giving him a blowjob.

- Excuse me, aren't you Karen Carlton, and didn't you go to Cardozo High School in Detroit?

- Yes. How'd you know?

- I never forget a face.

What's the biggest drawback in the jungle?
→ The Elephants foreskin.

Prostitute walks into a bar and asks the bar man for two Bacardi's and coke. Bar man serves her and notices that she drinks one and empties the other one down her panties. Now this happened another three times and the bar man was getting rather curious. The bar man nicely questions her and asks her why she is drinking one Barcardi and coke and throwing the other one down her panties. She replies, "I just won the lottery and that's the only cunt getting a drink out of me tonight!"

Two young girls were talking about their sex lives when the first girl says, "Oh my god!, it was really great, but I was Sooo scared after his rubber broke. I didn't get a good night's sleep for a week."

"What happened." Says her intrigued friend.

"I didn't know what I was going to do, but I was finally able to get the last little piece of it out with dental floss."

What would you call a virgin on a water bed?
→ A cherry float!

"Do you have any batteries?" a woman asks the hardware store clerk.

"Yes, m'am." The clerk gestures with his finger. "Can you come this way?"

"If I could come that way," the woman says, "I wouldn't need the batteries."

What was the first thing Adam said to Eve?
→ "Stand back .... I don't know how big this thing is going to grow !"

If a light sleeper sleeps lighter with the light on, does a hard sleeper sleep harder with a hard on?

A tall woman met a midget at a party. The midget was barely three feet tall but they were attracted to each other.

After a few drinks they went back to the tall woman's apartment.

"I can't imagine what it will be like making love to a midget," said the woman, "especially with the size difference and all."

"Just take off your cloths, lie back on the bed, spread your legs apart and close your eyes," said the midget.

The woman did as she was told and soon she felt the biggest thing she'd ever experienced inside her.

Within a few minutes the woman had climaxed eight times.

"If you think that was good," said the midget with a smirk, "Just wait till I get BOTH legs in there!"