Random joke from this category
Dave was a bit of a nut who enjoyed making obscene phone calls.
His biggest pleasure is making such calls to kindergarten teachers.
He'll find a lonely telephone booth, dial the number of a teacher, and exclaim - "Is this Mrs. Jones, the kindergarten teacher at P.S. 41?"
When the teacher answers yes, Dave goes into his act...
"Wee-ee, poo-poo ca-ca!"
The teacher asked little Johnny to use the word "definitely" in a sentence.
Little Johnny replies, "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?"
The Teacher says, "Of course not Johnny,"
To which Johnny replies, "Then I have definitely s**t my pants".
According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Finally the principal decided that there had to be something done about it.
She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She then explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day. To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the custodian to clean one of the mirrors.
He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it into the toilet and then used it to clean the mirror. Needless to say, there have been no lip prints on the mirror since!
Why do Apes love to go to school in bad neighbourhoods?
→ They like any jungle - even a blackboard jungle!
- Teacher: I'd like a room, please.
- Hotel Receptionist: Single, Sir?
- Teacher: Yes, but I am engaged.
What do you call an English teacher, five feet tall, covered from head to toe in boils and totally bald?
→ Sir!
While making his rounds, a doctor points out an x-ray to a group of medical students. "As you can see," he says, "the patient limps because his left fibula and tibia are radically arched." The doctor turns to one of the students and asks, "What would you do in a case like this?"
"Well," ponders the student, "I suppose I'd limp, too."
There are three girls in the Fifth Grade. There is a blonde a brunette and a redhead.
Which one is the probably the smartest?
→ If you guessed the blonde you were correct.... she's 19 years old!
- Mrs Jones: Now, remember, children, travel is very good for you. It broadens the mind.
- Betty, muttering: If you're anything to go by, that's not all it broadens!
- Teacher: R-O-X does spell rocks?
- Pupil: What does it spell then!
