Random joke from this category
- Examiner: I think you know very little, if anything at all, about the Bible. Can you quote any passage?
- Student: 'Judas departed and went and hanged himself.'
- Examiner: Well, that's a surprise. Can you quote another?
- Student: 'Go thou and do likewise.'
Who was the best actor in the bible?
→ Samson, he brought the house down!
What language do the Vatican Police speak?
→ Pig Latin!
A mom and dad were worried about their son not wanting to learn math at the school he was in, so they decided to send him to a Catholic school.
After the first day of school, their son comes racing into the house, goes straight into his room and slams the door shut. Mom and dad are a little worried about this and go to his room to see if he is okay. They find him sitting at his desk doing his homework. The boy keeps doing that for the rest of the year. At the end of the year the son brings home his report card and gives it to his mom and dad. Looking at it they see under math an A+.
Mom and dad are very happy and ask the son, "What changed your mind about learning math?"
The son looked at mom and dad and said, "Well, on the first day when I walked into the classroom, I saw a guy nailed to the plus sign at the back of the room behind the teacher's desk and I knew they meant business."
'I'm very sad to announce this morning, girls, that Miss Jones has decided to retire,' said the principal at morning assembly. 'Now we will all stand and sing this morning's hymn....now Thank We All Our God.'
A doctor dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the pearly gates and checks him in. After he's registered, St. Peter says to him, "Look at the time: you must be hungry! Heaven Cafeteria is serving lunch, why don't you get yourself something to eat?"
The doctor goes to the cafeteria and notices the long line. He immediately cuts in at the front, only to hear loud protests. "I'm a doctor" he says, "I'm a busy man, I don't have time to wait in line."
The others say, "You're in heaven now, we're all the same here, get to the back of the line and wait your turn!"
A few weeks later, waiting patiently on line for lunch, the doctor notices a man come dashing in wearing scrubs and a lab coat, stethoscope around his neck. He butts in at the head of the line and no one utters a peep. "Hey," he says to the guy in front of him, "Who does that guy think he is?"
"Oh, that's God," says the guy, "He likes to play doctor!"
One day God called the Pope, and he said "John Paul I have good news and bad news. First the good news. I am tired of all the squabbling between the religions. I have decided there will be only the one true religion".
The Pope was overjoyed and told God how wise his decision was, then asked "What's the bad news?". God said the bad news is that I am calling from Salt Lake City.
What is the golden rule for cows?
→ Do unto udders as you would have udders do to you!
What do the Pope and the Rams both appearing in the St. Louis Trans World Dome have in common?
→ They both feature 3 million people saying 'Jesus Christ!'
What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food?
→ 'Let us prey.'
