Political Jokes — most viewed jokes

A Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person. The Republican gave the homeless person his business card and told him to come to his business for a job. He then took twenty dollars out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person.

The Democrat was very impressed, and when they came to another homeless person, he decided to help. He walked over to the homeless person and gave him directions to the welfare office. He then reached into the Republican's pocket and gave the homeless person fifty dollars.

How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ None: The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

How many Russian leaders does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Nobody knows. Russian leaders don't last as long as light bulbs.
→ None, the old bulb is just suffering from a cold.

Howard Dean's wife held a press conference today where she announced that until the election is over she will shave off all her pubic hair and sit on stage with husband Howard, and wearing no panties.

Astounded reporters asked what the message was, to which she replied "Read my lips. No more Bush"

• In Fairbanks it is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose.
• While it is legal to shoot bears, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.
• It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.
• It is the state policy that emergencies are held to a minimum and are rarely found to exist. -Sec. 44.62.270. State policy.
• Moose may not be viewed from an airplane.

I don't think this whole White House scandal is good for parents. I caught my six year old son David in a lie, and he said we could discuss it tonight in a "National Town Meeting."

What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving?
→ Turkey.

How many Pentagon procurement officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Look, for only $87 billion, we can put up this chain of fluorescent satellites that will illuminate the whole planet.

How many Labour Party members does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ None. They haven't got a policy on that.

How can you tell if it was a shared computer used by many staffers?
→ There is writing on the White-out.