Political Jokes — most viewed jokes

How do you spot Al Gore in a room full of secret service agents?
→ He's the stiff one.

If Rodham gets health care, Bentsen gets treasury, and Aspin gets defense, what does Gore get?
→ Coffee.

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant opened by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu...

• Broiled Missionary: $25.00
• Fried Explorer: $35.00
• Baked Politician: $100.00

The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, "Why such a price difference for the politician?"

The cook replied "Have you ever tried to clean one of them?"

How many republicans does it take to disarm the law abiding public so that the government can enforce totalitarianistic and unconstitutional laws?
→ None. The Sociali--Democrats do that

Cheapskate Republicans buy an artificial Christmas tree.
Tight-fisted Democrats buy a real tree, but they wait until the week before Christmas when the lots lower their prices.

Green Democrats buy a real tree with roots, and then replant it after New Years.

Three Republicans walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "We don't serve Republicans here."
The Republicans say, "That's OK... We don't serve you either."

Know how to solve the Serbian/Bosnian problem in less than 48 hours?
→ Put Janet Reno in charge.

At recent trade talks the American representative offered to sell sophisticated American telephone technology to the Russians.

- American: In the United States, anyone can pick up any phone and dial 9-1-1. This will record the call and connect them with the police.

- Russian: In Russia we don't require that you dial anything.

What's the difference between Personal Injury lawyers and Congress?
→ No fee--If No Recovery!

How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Two. One to replace it and one to tell him it was burned out (in states that still have car-inspection laws.)
→ Three. One to stand on the ladder, and two to carry enough light bulbs until one is found that isn't defective.
→ 250,000,000, one to change it and 249,999,999 to debate whether it it was politically correct.