Random joke from this category
At the inquest into her husband's death by food poisoning Mrs Wally was asked by the coroner if she could remember her husband's last words.
"Yes," she replied. "He said 'I don't know how that shop can make a profit from selling this salmon at only 20 cents a tin..."
And then there was the Newfie who was found dead in his jail cell with twelve bumps on his head. He'd tried to hang himself with a rubber band.
Did you hear about the undertaker who buried someone in the wrong place and was sacked for the grave mistake?
What lies on the ground 100 feet up in the air and smells?
→ A dead centipede.
- Teacher: What can you tell me about the Dead Sea?
- Pupil: Dead? I didn't even know he was sick!
Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called her minister. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I had a DREADFUL fight!"
"Calm down, my child," said the minister, "it's not half as bad as you think it is. Every marriage has to have its first fight!"
"I know, I know!" said Joanna, "but what am I going to do with the BODY?"
- Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
- Yes, it's the rotting meat that attracts them!
What do you call a man who has been dead and buried for thousands of years?
→ Pete.
Did you hear about the man who left his job at the mortuary?
→ It was a dead end job.
Why did the cowboy die with his boots on?
→ Because he didn't want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket!
