Mom/Dad Jokes — most viewed jokes

- Dad, can you help me find the lowest common denominator in this problem please?

- Don't tell me that they haven't found it yet, I remember looking for it when I was a boy!

Why was the lightning bug unhappy?
→ Because her children were not very bright.

If a child annoys you, quiet him by brushing his hair.

If this doesn't work, use the other side of the brush on the other end of the child.

'Mum, there's a man at the door collecting for the Old Folk's Home. Shall I give him Grandma?'

Son to his father as they watch television:

"Dad, tell me again how when you were a kid you had to walk all the way across the room to change the channel."

- Mother: Did you get a good place in the geography test?

- Fred: Yes, Mum, I sat next to the cleverest kid in the class.

- Teacher: Give me three reasons why the world is round

- Pupil: Well my dad says so, my mum says so and you say so!

- Fred: I got 100 in school today.

- Mother: Wonderful. What did you get 100 in?

- Jason: Two things: I got 50 in Spelling and 50 in History.

- Mother: Well, at least you can add!

On the first day at school the girls were sizing each other up and boasting, trying to make good impressions on each other.

'I come from a one-parent family,' said one little girl proudly.

'That's nothing. Both my parents remarried after they got divorced. I come from a four parent family!'

An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class.

"How did that happen?" gasped her mother.

"It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me catch him!"