Men Jokes — most viewed jokes

Why are some married men like candles?
→ Because they occasionally go out at night when they should not.

What's so bad about being a dick?
→ Your closest mates are 2 nuts and an ass hole, your master covers you in a plastic bag, And every time you get excited you spew.

What's the best thing to come out of a penis?
→ The wrinkles!

Why do men become smarter during sex?
→ Because they are plugged into a genius.

What do men and sperm have in common?
→ They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.

Three cowboys of the world are sitting around camp talking about how tough they were and the tales kept getting bigger and bigger.
The cowboy from Australia says, "I wrestled a 200 pound crocodile and made it cry like a baby."

The Cowboy from Brazil shakes his head and says, "I killed a 400 pound steer with my bare hands."

The Cowboy from Texas just smiled and kept stirring the campfire with his leg.

What do a clitoris, an anniversary and a toilet have in common?
→ Men usually miss all three.

Why do men have a hole in their penis?
→ So they can think with an open mind.

Why don't women have men's brains?
→ Because they don't have penises to put them in.

What is the one thing you will never hear a man say?
→ Her tits are just too big.