Men Jokes — most viewed jokes

What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called?
→ The man.

What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?
→ Any place without a drive-up window.

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
→ No one knows, it's never happened.

How is a man like a snowstorm?
→ You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it will last.

Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
→ So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.

Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liners?
→ So men can remember them.
→ So men can understand them.

What is the difference between medium and rare?
→ 6 inches is medium, 8 inches is rare.

What is the average number of times in a bachelor's life that his bed is made?
→ Once, when it was still in the factory.

A chicken and a horse were playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him to safety. The chicken runs to the farmer but the farmer cannot be found. So she drives the farmer's BMW back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. She then throws the other end of the rope to her friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking. A few days later the chicken and the horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, 'No, I think I can stand over the hole'. So he stretched his legs over the width of the hole and said, 'grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up'. So the chicken grabbed hold of the horse's "thingy" and pulled herself to safety.

The moral of the story: If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks!

Women have their faults. Men have only two. Everything they say and everything they do.