Random joke from this category
Top nine reasons computers must be male:
A man goes into a doctor's office and says "Doctor! Doctor! I have five penises!"
The doctor says, "Good lord! How do your pants fit?"
The man replies, "Like a glove."
If fathers have Father's Day, and mothers have Mother's Day, what do single guys have?
→ Palm Sunday.
How are husbands like lawn mowers?
→ They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.
Why does a dog lick his balls?
→ Because he can't make a fist.
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, "Lord, I have a problem!"
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy."
"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.
"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples."
"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."
"What's a 'man', Lord?"
"This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathize or listen to you properly. All in all, he'll give you a hard time. But, he'll be bigger and faster and more muscular than you. He'll be really good at fighting and kicking a ball about and hunting fleet-footed ruminants, and not altogether bad in the sack."
"Sounds great," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow.
"Yeah, well. He's better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick. But, you can have him on one condition."
"What's that, Lord?"
"You'll have to let him believe that I made him first."
Two homosexuals were talking when one of them happened to mention that he had gotten circumcised last week.
"Can I see it?" asked the second gay homosexual, so he promptly dropped his pants to show off his cock.
"Oooh," squealed his friend, "You look ten years younger!"
Why are blond jokes so short?
→ So men can remember them!
There were two guys walking down the street and they saw a dog licking his nuts.
One of the guys said. "Man I wish I could do that".
Then the other guy said, "Man that dog will bite you!"
It has been determined that having sex before participating in athletic activity, such as a marathon race, does not impair the athlete's performance. In fact, men have known and displayed this for centuries. After sex, they glance at their watches and say, "Oops, gotta run!"
