Medicine — most viewed jokes

An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice.

The doctor advised that she run 10 miles a day for 30 days.

This, he promised, would help her lose as much as twenty pounds.

The blonde follows the doctor's advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she'd indeed lost twenty pounds.

She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results. At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question: "How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?"

- Doctor, doctor, I can't concentrate, one minute I'm ok, and the next minute, I'm blank!

- And how long have you had this complaint?

- What complaint?

When my wife went in the hospital for surgery several years ago, a rule prohibited children under 12 from visiting patients. Our 11-year-old seemed to understand, but our six-year-old took the restriction very hard.

We discovered why she was so unusually upset when we heard her talking to her mother on the phone for the first time. As she said goodbye, she tearfully exclaimed, "I'll see you when I'm 12, mom!"

- Doctor how can I cure my sleep walking?

- Sprinkle tin-tacks on your bedroom floor!

Doctor, don't cut so deep. That's the third operating table you've ruined this month!

- Doctor, Doctor I keep painting myself gold

- Don't worry it's just a gilt complex!

How does the brain communicate with the nerves?
→ With a Cell phone!

- Why are you so upset?

- My wife introduced me to her psychiatrist this morning.

- So what?

- So she said to him, 'Doctor, this is my husband. You know, one of the men I've been telling you about'.

- Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a rubber band

- Why don't you stretch yourself out on the couch there and tell me all about it!

- Doctor, Doctor I've got bad teeth, foul breath and smelly feet.

- Sounds like you've got Foot and Mouth disease!