Medicine — most viewed jokes

- Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up; something to put me in a fighting mood. Did you put something like that in this prescription?

- No need for that. You will find that in your bill.

Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.

He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."

To which the gentleman said, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

What's the difference between a psychologist and a magician?
→ A psychologist pulls habits out of rats!

Where do you take a sick horse?
→ To the Horspital!

What do you give a sick horse?
→ Cough stirrup.

- Doctor, Doctor what did the x-ray of my head show?

- Absolutely nothing!

- Doctor Doctor I feel like biscuits!

- What, you mean those square ones?

- Yes!

- The ones you put butter on?

- Yes!

- Oh, You're Crackers!

- Doctor, should I file my nails?

- No, throw them away like everybody else.

At 5 P.M. one Halloween afternoon, my dental hygienist realized that she wouldn't make it to the store in time to get snacks for trick-or-treaters. So she took home some free samples from the office supply cabinet. That night she handed out dozens of toothbrushes, toothpaste, and dental floss. The next year, although she had bags of chips and popcorn, not one child came knocking at her door.

- Doctor, Doctor everyone thinks I'm a liar

- I can't believe that!