Random joke from this category
A medical student is taking a test and one of the questions he sees is: "Name the three best advantages of mother's milk."
The student immediately writes, "One: It has all the healthful nutrients needed to sustain a baby.
Two: It is inside the mother's body and therefore protected from germs and infections."
But the student can't think of the third answer. Finally, he writes, "Three: It comes in such nice containers."
The Smiths were shown into the dentist's office, where Mr. Smith made it clear he was in a big hurry. "No fancy stuff, Doctor," he ordered, "No gas or needles or any of that stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with."
"I wish more of my patients were as stoic as you," said the dentist admiringly. "Now, which tooth is it?"
Mr. Smith turned to his wife..
"Show him, honey."
How many Dependent P.D. does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ None, he's still clinging to the old lightbulb.
Three people die, a Doctor a school teacher and the head of a large HMO, when met at the pearly gates by St. Peter he asks the Doctor 'what did you do on Earth?'
The Dotor replied, I healed the sick and if they could not pay I would do it for free. St. Peter told the Doctor, 'you may go in.'
St. Peter then asked the teacher what she did, she replied, I taught educationally challenged children. St. Peter then told her 'you may go in.'
St. Peter asked the third man, 'what did you do?'
The man hung his head and replied, 'I ran a large HMO.' To which St. Peter replied, 'you may go in, but you can only stay 3 days.'
- Doctor, Doctor, some days I feel like a tee-pee and other days I feel like a wig-wam.
- You're too tents.
- Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a snail
- Don't worry we'll soon have you out of your shell!
A 92-year old woman had a full cardiac arrest at home and was rushed to the hospital. After about thirty minutes of unsuccessful resuscitation attempts the old lady was pronounced dead. The doctor went to tell the lady's 78-year old daughter (who wasn't blonde any longer, but just had to be at one time) that her mother didn't make it.
"Didn't make it? Where could they be? She left in the ambulance forty-five minutes ago!" the former blonde asked.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
John Hopkins Medical Center is reporting an unusual occurrence in the Obstetrics department:
A child was born with both male and female organs.
A penis and a brain!
An old man visits his doctor and after thorough examination the doctor tells him: "I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?"
- Patient: Well, give me the bad news first.
- Doctor: You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left.
- Patient: Oh no! That's awefull! In two years my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this??
- Doctor: You also have Alzheimer's. In about three months you are going to forget everything I told you.
What famous chiropodist ruled England?
→ William the Corn-cutter!
