Language Jokes — most viewed jokes

Why do Polish names end in "ski"?
→ Because they can't spell tobbagan.

• Act naturally
• Found missing
• Resident alien
• Advanced BASIC
• Genuine imitation
• Safe sex
• Airline food
• Good grief
• Same difference
• Almost exactly
• Government organization
• Sanitary landfill
• Alone together
• Legally drunk
• Silent scream
• British fashion
• Living dead
• Small crowd
• Business ethics
• Microsoft Works
• Soft rock
• Butt head
• Military intelligence
• Software documentation
• California culture
• New classic
• Sweet sorrow
• Childproof
• "Now, then ..."

• Synthetic natural gas
• Christian Scientists
• Passive aggression
• Taped live
• Clearly misunderstood
• Peace force
• Temporary tax increase
• Computer jock
• Plastic glasses
• Terribly pleased
• Computer security
• Political science
• Tight slacks
• Definite maybe
• Pretty ugly
• Twelve-ounce pound cake
• Diet ice cream
• Rap music
• Working vacation
• Exact estimate
• Religious tolerance

What was the name of Tom Sawyer's fish?
→ Huckleberry Fin!

How can you spell chilly with two letters?
→ IC (icy).

What letters are not in the alphabet?
→ The ones in the mail, of course!

They say that it's tough to learn Bosnian because it has seven verb tenses: six past, one present, and no future.

What happened when the barman died?
→ The police held an inn-quest

This man goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs.

He says to the clerk, "I'd like to register my new invention. It's a folding bottle."

"OK," says the clerk. "What do you call it?"

"A fottle," replies the inventor.

"A fottle? That's a stupid! Can't you think of something else?"

"I can think about it. I've got something else though. It's a folding carton."

"And what do you call that?" asks the clerk.

"A farton," replies the inventor.

"That's rude. You can't possibly call it that!"

"In that case," says the inventor...

"You're really going to hate the name of my folding bucket."

A barman looks out the window of his bar and sees a guy riding a horse dressed in a hunting outfit with a rifle over one arm and a hound running along beside him.

He dismounts and comes walking into the bar where upon he takes the rifle off his shoulder and starts wandering around with his dog sniffing ever table, chair and small corner of the bar. After a while he approaches the barman who asks him what he's doing.

And the guy replies - "I'm hunting you idiot... can't you see that!"

"OK, OK..." says the barman, "Would you like a drink while you hunt?"

Immediately the hunter says, "Do you have any cheap Gin !!?"

Rather taken a back by the abruptness of his request the barman replies, "No I'm sorry I'm all out of the cheap stuff is there anything else you'd like?"

"No" says the hunter and he starts to leave.

As he reaches the door the barman calls after him, "Btw pal... exactly what do you hunt?"

"I hunt for cheap gin you bumbling idiot! Couldn't you tell that - I'm a BarGIN Hunter!"

What do frogs eat with their hamburgers?
→ French flies.

What do polo players get from spending all afternoon in the saddle?
→ Poloroids.

What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
→ A lawn moo-er.

What do you call a dog that is left-handed?
→ A south paw.

What do you call a frightened scuba diver?
→ Chicken of the sea.

What do you call a monster with no neck?
→ The Lost Neck Monster.

What do you call a transvestite cow?
→ A Dairy Queen.

What do you call Eskimo cows?
→ Eskimoos.

What do you get when you cross a duck with a computer?
→ A quackintosh.

What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede?
→ Bacon and legs.