Language Jokes — most viewed jokes

Can you spell soft and slow with two letters?
→ EZ.

Here's a fun tongue twister.

Read the following list and then follow the instructions at the end.

Read it LOUD and REAL FAST...see if you can do it!

DON'T read the instructions until you get it right!!!

This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is fool cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat

Did ya do it? Now go back up and read the third word in each line starting from the top to the bottom :)

How do you spell a hated opponent with three letters?
→ NME (enemy).

Spell electricity with three letters.
→ NRG (energy).

What did the salad say when the cabbage interrupted their meal?
→ Lettuce alone!

The Economic Breakfast by Roland Marge

Dewey and Odell met on the Brownsville main street. "Say," said Dewey, "Ah hurd yew and yore wife is goin' ta night school ta take Spanish lessons. How cum?"
"Uh huh," answered Odell. "We went and adopted us a little Mexican baby, and we wanna be able ta understand him when he gets old enough ta talk!"

We painted our floor with luminous paint. So now the florescent what it used to be.

My sister opened a computer store on a beach in Hawaii. She sells C shells by the seashore.

A friend of mine told some jokes about religion and got put on the Sects Offenders List.

A guy turns up at a costume party carrying a woman on his back. "What are you supposed to be?" asked the host.

"I'm a snail." he said, "Can't you see, I'm carrying Michelle on my back."

Gardeners' playing cards - weed em and reap.

A six-foot termite walks into a bar. He raps on the bar and asks: "Excuse me...is the bar tender here?"

Perforation is a rip-off!

A poor soul worked at a company making blankets. He lost his job when the company folded.

And of course, there was the pillow and mattress manufacturing company that had a problem with staff... Some of them just felt down all the time, and the rest were sleeping on the job.

And don't forget about the telecoms engineer who was committed to an asylum... They said he had too many hang-ups.

Friction. It's such a drag. And gravity sucks too.

What does CHAOS stand for?
→ The Chiefs Have Arrived On Scene.

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Amy

- Amy who?

- Amy for the top!