Kids Jokes — most viewed jokes

The story takes place in a Christian school. The teacher asks the question, "What part of your body gets to heaven first?"

Three students raise their hand, Jenny, Jim, and little Johnny in the back. The teacher thinks to herself, "I dont want to call on Johnny cause he will say something bad."

So she picks on Jenny first who says, "I think your head gets to heaven first cause you have to be smart."

The teacher then calls on Jim who says, "I think your heart gets to heaven first cause you gotta have a good heart."

Finally Johnny is the only one with his hand up. The teacher says to herself "Oh no, I gotta pick Johnny." She picks him and he says, "I think your feet get to heaven first."

The relieved teacher asks him, "Why on earth do you think your feet get to heaven first?"

Johnny says, "Cause I walked into my Mom and Dad's room last night and my mom's feet were straight up in the air and she was shouting 'Oh God I'm cummin'!'"

"Is your mother home?" the salesman asked a small boy sitting on the steps in front of a house.

"Yeah, she's home," the boy said, scooting over to let him past. The salesman rang the doorbell, got no response, knocked once, then again.

Still no one came to the door. Turning to the boy, the fellow said, "I thought you said your mother was home." The kid replied, "She is; but this isn't where I live."

A couple had two little mischievous boys, ages 8 and 10. They were always getting into trouble, and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would get the blame.

The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys.
The clergyman agreed and asked to see them individually.

So, the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.

The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"

They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open.

The clergyman repeated the question.
"Where is God?"

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.

So, the clergyman raised his voice some more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God!?"

The boy screamed and bolted from the room. He ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.

When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied: "We are in real BIG trouble this time! God is missing, and they think we did it!"

What's the hardest part of making monster soup?
→ Stirring it.

A mother and her child were at a wedding.

A little boy looks at his mom and says, "Mommy, why does the girl wear white?"

His mom replies, "The bride is in white because she's happy and this is the happiest day of her life."

The boy thinks about this, and then says, "Well then, why is the boy wearing black?"

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Cash

- Cash who?

- Cash me if you can!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Blood

- Blood who?

- Blood brothers!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Bibi

- Bibi who?

- Bibi Bibi Bunting ...!

- Knock Knock!

- Who's there?

- Ali!

- Ali who?

- Ali-luyah, at last you've opened the door!

Who does a ghoul fall in love with?
→ His ghoul friend.