Kids Jokes — most viewed jokes

- FIRST HUMAN BOY: I can lift a monster with one hand.

- SECOND HUMAN BOY: Bet you can't!

- FIRST HUMAN BOY: Find me a monster with one hand and I'll prove it.

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Chaz

- Chaz who?

- Chaz nasty as you wanna be!

On the last day of camp everyone was asked the same question:
'What is the best part of the camp?'
One wise guy answered, 'Going home!'

Why wouldn't anyone play with the little longhorn?
→ He was too much of a bully!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- An author

- An author who?

- An author joke like this and I'm off!

Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone?
→ She thought children should be seen and not herded!

One day, little Mikey came home from kindergarten and couldn't find his mother. So he headed upstairs and opened her bedroom door.

To his surprise, he saw his dad stripped naked on top of his mom, who was also naked, both heavily into the sexual act. Not wanting to traumatize the boy, the parents continued to do what they were doing.

After a couple of minutes, Mikey asked, "Daddy, can I climb on top and have a horsey ride?"

The dad thinks for a second, "Of course son, we're a family."

After a couple more minutes his mother starts moaning and writhing wildly.

"Hang on Dad!" cries Mikey, "This is where me and the mailman usually fall off!"

A man was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his 11-year-old son standing wide-eyed at the fence, soaking in the whole event.

The man thought, "Great...he's 11 and now I'm gonna have to start explaining the birds and bees. No need to jump the gun - I'll just let him ask, and I'll answer."

After everything was over, the man walked over to his son and said, "Well son, do you have any questions?"

"Just one Dad," gasped the still wide-eyed lad.

Just as the father is preparing his birds and bees story, his son asks - "How fast was that calf going when he hit that cow?"

From Reader's Digest, June 1992:

I grew up in a non-musical family; only one of our five siblings can even carry a tune.

So, I've restricted my singing to private places like the bathtub or the car. But one night, I softly sang a lullaby to my nine-month-old baby.

After the first verse, he sweetly looked into my eyes, removed the pacifier from his mouth and placed it in mine.

A friend went to the kitchen window to check on her two-year-old son, who was playing in the yard with some older children in the neighbourhood. She was horrified to see that they were feeding him an earthworm.

She quickly opened the window and screamed at them, "Don't feed him worms! They'll make him sick!"

They looked up at her puzzled and asked, "Was he sick yesterday?"