Instrument Jokes — most viewed jokes

Why does everyone hate a banjo right off?
→ Saves time.

Why did the girl who worked for the telephone company sing all the time?
→ Because she was an operetta (operator).

A saxophone is like a lawsuit.
Everyone is happy when the case is closed.

Why did the angel lose her job?
→ She had harp failure.

Did you hear about the drummer who locked his keys in his car?
→ It took him four hours to get the bass player out.

If you were out in the woods, who would you trust for directions, an in-tune tenor sax player, an out-of-tune tenor sax player, or Santa Claus?
→ The out-of-tune sax player!
You were hallucinating the other two.

A down and out musician was playing his harmonica in the middle of a busy shopping mall. Striding over, a policeman asked, "May I please see your permit?"

"I don't have one," confessed the musician.

"In that case, you'll have to accompany me."

"Splendid!" exclaimed the musician. "What shall we sing?"

Why did the Boy Scout take up the banjo?
→ They make good paddles.

Why do bagpipers leave their cases on their dashboards?
→ So they can park in handicapped zones.

- My neighbors were screaming and yelling at three o'clock this morning!

- Did they wake you?

- Nah.... I was up playing my bagpipes.