Food Jokes — most viewed jokes

Two boys were eating a snack lunch in the school yard. One had an apple and the other said, "Watch out for worms won't you!" The first one replied, "Why should I? They can watch out for themselves."

Where did the burgers go after their wedding?
→ On a bun-eymoon!

Two flies were on a cornflakes packet. "Why are we running so fast?" asked one.

"Because," said the second, "it says 'tear along the dotted line'!"

Seriously, when the crooked hamburger took it on the 1am, where did it go?
→ Heidelburg-er, Germany!

One day a blonde went to a sea food restaurant and saw the tank where they kept the lobsters. She took pity on these creatures and hid them in her purse. Later she went to the woods to set the poor animals free.

Why is food better than men?
→ Because you don't have to wait an hour for seconds.

- First cannibal: Come and have dinner in our hut tonight.

- Second cannibal: What are you having?

- First cannibal: Hard-boiled legs.

What soft drink do pigs like best?
→ Root beer.

Three cookies were crossing the road when the first one was knocked down. What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety?
→ Crumbs!

There were three men working at the top of a building. One was Chinese, one was Mexican, and the other one was Polish. At lunch they went to the edge and the top of the building the Mexican guy pulled out a taco and he said if I get another taco I am gonna jump off this bulding tomorrow. The Chinese guy pulled out fried rice and said if I get fried rice tomorrow I'm gonna jump off with you. The Polish guy pulled out a ham sanwich and said if I get another ham sandwich I'm gonna jump tomorrow with you guys too. The next day the Mexican guy got a taco so he jumped off. The Chinese guy got fried rice so he jumped off. The Polish guy got a ham sandwich so hey jumped off the building. The next day their wives had a triple funeral and the Mexican guy's wife was crying and she said I could have made him a burrito or something. The Chinese guy's wife was cring and said I could have made him some sushi. The Polish guy's wife couldn't stop laughing. The other's asked what was so funny? She stopped for a second and said that he had always made his own lunch.