Food Jokes — most viewed jokes

Why was the monster standing on his head at the birthday party?
→ He heard they were having upside-down cake!

Why is a sofa like a roast chicken?
→ Because they're both full of stuffing!

What's yellow and always points to the north?
→ A magnetic banana.

- Johnny: Daddy, are caterpillars good to eat?

- Father: Have I not told you never to mention such things during meals!

- Mother: Why did you say that, Junior? Why did you ask the question?

- Johnny: It's because I saw one on daddy's lettuce, but now it's gone.

Having spent half the night discussing involvement vs. commitment (one of my favorite topics when I've had a couple of glasses of wine and am feeling particularly cranky) with my boyfriend, I was quite amused to see the following saying pop up when I logged in the next morning:

Commitment, n.: Commitment can be best illustrated by a breakfast of ham and eggs. The chicken was involved, the pig was committed.

A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast.

The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation.
So he puts up a sign that reads: "WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE!"

He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons.

The farmer returns to the watermelon patch a week later to discover that none of the watermelons have been eaten, but finds another sign that reads: "NOW THERE ARE TWO!"

A Jewish family invited their Redneck neighbors over for holiday dinner. The first course was set in front of them and the Jewish couple announced, "This is soup made with matzoh balls."

On seeing the 2 large matzoh balls in the soup, the redneck man was hesitant to taste this strange looking brew. Gently, the Jewish couple urged him to, "Just have a taste. If you don't like it, you don't have to finish it."

Finally he agrees. He digs his spoon in, first picking up a small piece of matzoh ball with some soup in the spoon, and tasting it gingerly. The usual mmmm sound can be heard coming from somewhere deep in his chest, and he quickly finished the soup.

"That was delicious," he said, but I was wondering...

"Can you eat any other parts of the matzoh?"

Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night.

The waiter comes and takes their drink order.

"I would like a Sprite," said the first little piggie.

"I would like a Coke," said the second little piggie.

"I want water, lots and lots of water," said the third little piggie.

The drinks are brought out and the waiter takes their orders for dinner.

"I want a nice big steak," said the first piggie.

"I would like the salad plate," said the second piggie.

"I want water, lots and lots of water," said the third little piggie.

The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert.

"I want a banana split," said the first piggie.

"I want a root beer float," said the second piggie.

"I want water, lots and lots of water," exclaimed the third little piggie.

"Pardon me for asking," said the waiter, "but why have you only ordered water?"

The third piggies says, "Well, somebody has to go 'Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!'"

What's a teddy bears favourite pasta?
→ Tagliateddy!

What do pigs like with chow mein?
→ Sooey sauce.