Food Jokes — most viewed jokes

What would you call two banana skins?
→ A pair of slippers.

What is Monica's favorite chinese food?
→ Cream of sum young guy.

What did the ice cream say to the unhappy cake?
→ "Hey, what's eating you?"

Why don't blondes eat Jello?
→ They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.

What do you get from a drunk chicken?
→ Scotch eggs!

• Forrest Gump - Life is like a Box of chocolates...
• Forrest Dahmer - People are like a box of chocolate, YUM!
• Forrest (Homer) Simpson - Mmmmm, chocolate
• Forrest the Hun - Chocolate all mine!
• Forrest Simmons - Chocolate is bad!, EXERCISE EXERCISE!
• Forrest Rivera - People who like Chocolate..

Next on 'Forrest'

• Forrest Shakespeare - Chocolate, or no chocolate that's the question
• Forrest Of Borg - All chocolates must be assimilated
• Forrest Presley - Hunk a hunk of milk chocolate
• Forrest Zen - I am one with the chocolate
• Forrest McClaine - I used to be a box of Chocolates
• Forrest Ventura - Chocolates..

Alll-Riighty then...

• Forrest Lauper - People just wanna have chocolate
• Forrest Turner - What's chocolate gotta do, gotta do with it?
• Forrest Bones - D*@!* Jim, I'm a Dr., not a box of chocolate
• Forrest Spock - Logically speaking, we are all chocolate
• Forrest Scotty - The box, she's breaking apart Capt'n
• Forrest Butler - Frankly Scarlett, I don't like chocolate
• Forrest O'Hara - Tomorrow, is another box of chocolates.
• Forrest Lee - Fight with your inner chocolate
• Forrest Clinton - I didn't inhale the cream centers
• Forrest Davidson - I will inhale the cream filled centers
• Forrest Doo - Roinks Raggy, Rocolates!
• Forrest Marx - That's the weirdest box of chocolates I've ever seen.
• Forrest Nicholson - You want chocolate, you can't handle chocolate
• Forrest Copperfield - Poof, the chocolates are gone!
• Forrest Noah - 2 creams, 2 nuts, 2 coconuts, 2 peanut butter
• Forrest on phonics - Lief es lyk a boks uv chakolets
• Forrest PsychicLine - Yes, I knew you were a chocolate
• Forrest Alimony - The Box is mine!
• Forrest Andrews - The Hills are alive..like a box of chocolates
• Forrest Costello - Who's eating chocolate?
• Forrest Abbott - No, who is not eating chocolate
• Forrest Vader - Luke, I am your chocolate
• Forrest Yoda - There is a dark chocolate, and a light chocolate.

It's a sunny morning in the Big Forest, and the Bear family is just waking up.

Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table.

He looks into his small bowl. It is empty!

"Who's been eating my porridge," he squeaks?

Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair.

He looks into his big bowl, and it is also empty! "Who's been eating my porridge!," he roars?

Momma Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells "For Pete's sake, how many times do we have to go through this?"

"It was 'Momma Bear' who got up first."

"It was 'Momma Bear' who woke everybody else in the house up."

"It was 'Momma Bear' who made the Coffee."

"It was 'Momma Bear' who unloaded the dishwasher from last night, and put everything away."

"It was 'Momma Bear' who went out into the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper."

"It was 'Momma Bear' who set the table."

"It was 'Momma Bear' who put the cat out, cleaned the litter box and filled the cat's water & food dish."

"And, now that you've decided to come downstairs and grace 'Momma Bear' with your presence, ...listen good, 'cause I'm only going to say this one time..."

"I haven't made the @!#$%^&* Porridge, yet!!"

How did the Mother Banana spoil the Baby Banana?
→ She left him out in the sun too long.

How do you make an apple puff?
→ Chase it round the garden

Why was the monster standing on his head at the birthday party?
→ He heard they were having upside-down cake!