Food Jokes — most viewed jokes

Where do milk shakes come from?
→ Nervous cows!

Why was the cat so small?
→ Because it only ate condensed milk!

- Who made this Christmas pudding?

- Our chef. He's a little green man who lives in a toadstool.

- What did he use to make it?

- Elf-raising flour, of course.

What's the most popular wine at Christmas?
→ "I don't like sprouts!"

What is white, sugary, has whiskers and floats on the sea?
→ A catameringue!

What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
→ Crisp Cringle.

Who is never hungry at Christmas?
→ The turkey - he's always stuffed!

Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas cake?
→ Your teeth!

A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee. He made it himself and was so proud. He anxiously waited to hear the verdict on the quality of the coffee. The grandmother had never in her life had such a bad cup of coffee, and as she forced down the last sip she noticed three of those little green army guys in the bottom of the cup.

She asked, "Honey, why would three little green army guys be in the bottom of my cup?"

Her grandson replied, "You know grandma, it's like on TV, 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup."

Last year's Christmas pudding was so awful I threw it in the ocean.
That's probably why the ocean's full of currants!