Festival Jokes — most viewed jokes

Why did the wizard wear a yellow robe to the Halloween party?
→ He was going as a banana.

What is the best way of stopping infection from witch bites?
→ Don't bite any witches!

What has handles and flies?
→ A witch in a garbage can.

Did you hear about the witch who fed her pet vulture on sawdust?
→ The vulture laid ten eggs and when they hatched, nine chicks had wooden legs and the tenth was a woodpecker.

What goes cackle, cackle, squelch, squelch?
→ A witch in soggy trainers.

Did you hear about the witch who turned her friend into an egg?
→ She kept trying to poach her ideas.

What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital?
→ With any luck you'll be able to get up for a spell.

What happens if you see twin witches?
→ You won't be able to tell witch witch is witch.

Festivity Level 1: Your guests are chatting amiably with each other, admiring your Christmas-tree ornaments, singing carols around the upright piano, sipping at their drinks and nibbling hors d'oeuvres.

Festivity Level 2: Your guests are talking loudly -- sometimes to each other, and sometimes to nobody at all, rearranging your Christmas-tree ornaments, singing "I Gotta Be Me" around the upright piano, gulping their drinks and wolfing down hors d'oeuvres.

Festivity Level 3: Your guests are arguing violently with inanimate objects, singing "I can't get no satisfaction," gulping down other peoples' drinks, wolfing down Christmas tree ornaments and placing hors d'oeuvres in the upright piano to see what happens when the little hammers strike.

Festivity Level 4: Your guests, hors d'oeuvres smeared all over their naked bodies are performing a ritual dance around the burning Christmas tree. The piano is missing.

You want to keep your party somewhere around level 3, unless you rent your home and own firearms, in which case you can go to level 4.

What is the witches motto?
→ We came, we saw, we conjured!