Dumb Jokes — most viewed jokes

Did you hear about the Iranian terrorist who switched off the fans of his stolen helicopter because he couldn't stand the draft?

What has eight legs and an IQ of forty?
→ Four guys watching a baseball game.

• Even a two button mouse gives him too many options.
• Evidence for the theory of a missing link.
• Failed the Turing test.
• Fell out of the family tree.
• Fifty-one cards short of a full deck.
• Fighting the war with a starter pistol / water pistol / pop gun / cap gun.
• Finds a flat by swapping tires.
• Finds canonical humor collections amusing.
• Finds Sesame Street / knock-knock jokes challenging.
• Fired from McDonald's for having a short attention span.
• Fired her retro-rockets a little late.
• Flaky.
• Flat out like a lizard drinking.
• Flying/landing on one engine.
• Focused like a 12 gauge shotgun.
• Fog rolled in the day he was born, and a bit of it never rolled out.
• Folds ace plus red jack hand when playing blackjack.
• Foreign substances float in his cranial fluids.
• Forgot to pay his brain bill.
• Found his marbles, but is playing jacks with them.
• Four bits shy of a full DEC.
• Four cents short of a nickel.
• Full of wisdumb.
• Full throttle, dry tank.
• Fur coat and no knickers. (Scottish expression.)
• Gasoline engine, diesel fuel.
• Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
• Gavel doesn't quite hit the bench.
• Gears grind/don't always mesh.
• Gets her mail at an unknown zip code.

A Hoosier, a Kentuckian and a West Virginian were on a Hollywood TV quiz show. The host asked them to complete the sentence: "Old MacDonald had a ..."

The Indianan said, "Old MacDonald had a carburetor."
"Sorry," said the MC. "That's incorrect."
"Old MacDonald had a flat tire," said the Kentuckian.
"Wrong," said the host.
"Old MacDonald had a farm," said the West Virginian.
"That's correct!" shouted the MC. "Now for $200,000, spell farm."

The West Virginian thought hard and then spelled carefully:

"E-I-E-I-O."

- My friend is nuts. He thinks he's Bugs Bunny. But I'm positive he isn't.

- How do you know he isn't?

- Because I am.

yo momma so stupid that she asked you what kind of jeans you had on. And you said Guess so she said Levi's.

• Why don't you go to the library and brush up on your ignorance?
• I hear you changed your mind! What did you do with the diaper?
• You have an inferiority complex -- and it's fully justified.
• You are not as bad as people say -- you are worse!
• Do you have to leave so soon? I was about to poison the tea.
• I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
• Whom am I calling "stupid"? I don't know. What's your name?
• Take a vacation go to Club Dead.
• Your mouth is getting too big for your muzzle.
• You are as strong as an ox and almost as intelligent.
• You are living proof of reincarnation. No one could possibly get to be so stupid in just one lifetime.
• You grow on people -- like a wart!

Did you hear about the idiot who filled out an employment application?
In the blank labeled "Church Preference" he filled in: Red brick.

How many South Dakotans does it take to go ice fishing?
→ Four. One to cut the hole in the ice, and three to push the boat through.

A blonde dies and goes to the pearly gates of heaven to meet Saint Peter...

He first tells her that the only way she can get through the gate is to pass a quite simple test.

"What is The Son Of God's name?" he asks.

She thinks for a minute, rubbing her chin in deep thought. "Andy!" She bursts out with a gleaming smile.

"No, I'm sorry that is incorrect, what made you say that?" he asks.

She starts singing... "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, andy tells me..."